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Written after spending time talking with a saint who is nearly home.

UPDATE: I wrote this after making my visit on Tuesday 30 June 2020. It reflects some of what we spoke about, but I never read these words to her. The lady with whom I spoke went to be with Christ on the evening of Wednesday 01 July 2020. It makes these truths all the sweeter. She knows most of this now by experience, and is awaiting the dawn.

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John Calvin writes, “The very best Christians, when all is calm, fondly think of themselves as steadfast and solid. But once trouble overtakes them, they discover it was all a sham. That, then, is how believers are alerted to their frailties, so that they might be helped to grow in humility, to abandon all sinful confidence in the flesh, and to submit wholly to God’s grace. With submission comes the discovery that God’s power is now available to them: there they have a fortress sufficient for their needs.”

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John Owen writes, “Because of sin, no man in his natural state has fellowship with God. God is light, and we are darkness. What communion has light with darkness? God is life; we are dead. God is love; we are enmity. So what agreement can there be between God and man? Men, in such a condition, do not have Christ, and so they are without hope and without God in the world (Eph. 2:12). They are ‘alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them’ (Eph. 4:18). Two cannot walk together unless they agree with each other (Amon 3:3). Whilst there is this great distance between God and man, there can be no walking together in fellowship or communion. Our first relationship with God was so lost by sin that there was no possibility in ourselves of any return to God.”

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Knowing God is a matter of personal dealing, as is all direct acquaintance with personal beings. Knowing God is more than knowing about Him; it is a matter of dealing with Him as He opens up to you, and being dealt with by Him as He takes knowledge of you. Knowing about Him is a necessary precondition of trusting in Him (‘how could they have faith in one they had never heard of?’ [Rom. 10:14, NEB]), but the width of our knowledge about Him is no gauge of the depth of our knowledge of Him. John Owen and John Calvin knew more theology than John Bunyan or Billy Bray, but who would deny that the latter pair knew their God every bit as well as the former? (All four, of course, were beavers for the Bible, which counts for far more anyway than a formal theological training.) If the decisive factor was notional correctness, then obviously the most learned biblical scholars would know God better than anyone else. But it is not.

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I have quitted all forms of devotion and set prayers but those to which my state obliges me. And I make it my business only to persevere in His holy presence, wherein I keep myself by a simple attention, and a general fond regard to God, which I may call an actual presence of God; or, to speak better, an habitual, silent, and secret conversation of the soul with God, which often causes me joys and raptures inwardly, and sometimes also outwardly, so great that I am forced to use means to moderate them and prevent their appearance to others.In short, I am assured beyond all doubt that my soul has been with God above these thirty years. I pass over many things that I may not be tedious to you, yet I think it proper to inform you after what manner I consider myself before God, whom I behold as my King.

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There are times when something comes into our lives which is charged with love in such a way that it seems to open the Eternal to us for a moment, or at least some of the Eternal Things, and the greatest of these is love.It may be a small and intimate touch upon us or our affairs, lights as the touch of the dawn-wind on the leaves of the tree, something not to be captured and told to another in words. But we know that it is our Lord. And then perhaps the room where we are, with its furniture and books and flowers, seems less “present” than His Presence, and the heart is drawn into that sweetness of which the old hymn sings.

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